As a child, we had a simple, and sometimes effective, way of diffusing anger. We would cry.... and sometimes it worked. Of course we can't really do that when we are at work, and it probably wouldn't work anyway.

Whatever the reason, as humans we have some tendencies which make the problem worse. Some of the things we tend to do are:

• If we are in confrontation, the conversation can vary onto the wrong subject.

• We might not be listening to the other party in the conversation.

• We may not be explaining our own point clearly.

• Shudder at the thought, but we might be wrong.

• If aggravated, we might say things we do not mean.

The best course of action is to walk. Take a walk, and for 15 minutes, do not even think about the subject. Look at other people, watch the cars, look in the shops, breathe the air, and generally look around you. To start with you will keep thinking about work, but it will wear off. Then walk back to work and on return, think about what to do next. Plan your next step,and feel happy that your feelings will have moderated.

Also, with respect to the above points, stick to the subject, listen to the other party, talk softly and clearly and be strong enough to admit when you are wrong. You will feel the stronger person afterwards.